wow, all i can say is...wow...

so we're on vacation! road trip and it is an amazing time... timmy and i have followed dan and vicki up to oregon and are greatly enjoying being with the double-whammy, family AND friends...it doesn't get much better than that, getting along with people that you're actually related to but also loving them as friends...God is good:)... so as we travel along and the literal journey has been lovely, scenic and a very grand time of texting, playing games and LOTS of conversation...i enjoy that we all have so much in common but that the ultimate thing is God... it truly is mind-boggling to think that He has created all this beauty and all these individual components of life that we can literally immerse ourselves, and just "be"...

once we actually arrived in our oregonian destination we discovered that vicki had made reservations at a tiny little haven of a motel right on the beach...we were greeted by a kind young man that obviously knows the meaning of hospitality, just the right blend of local tidbits and information in tandem with allowing us to make ourselves comfortable and discover the local area...our motel room is on the second story overlooking the ocean, yes, we can literally lift our heads off the pillow and look out the window to a glorious coastline view... a little tiny balcony area houses two chairs that are perfect to get away, play a guitar or ukelele (guitar is played beautifully by timmy, uke is played VERY badly by me...) or enjoy some devotional time... a quick walk down 100 steps to the beach allows us to enter a peaceful evening with seagulls crying overhead and seashells just waiting to be turned into treasured memories...and the very first night we were presented with a gift as we walked along the beach...it wasn't quite dusk but there was a mist in the air darkening the sky...we looked back at the shoreline and the most beautiful rainbow was emerging in the sky...it glowed with a muted light and literally reached the sand...the end of the rainbow... God's promise, right in front of our eyes... and with all the words that He has given me? all i can say is... "wow"...

happy...

so today i had a slight epiphany, i was in church this morning and my tears (for once) were replaced by a smile:)...seriously... when my heart is overflowing with the words from some beautiful worship songs, my normal reaction is to cry, yes i am an old softie, but this is my "normal", this is how i react to beauty and God's overwhelming love... this is how i respond to individual's that are so gifted from God to lead others into His presence...

yet this morning? i found myself with the kind of smile on my face that is reserved for basking in the sun, cool breezes, floating weightless in some body of water that makes me feel safe... not feeling gravity at all... this was the feeling this morning when i closed my eyes and let the music and words make me completely aware of God's presence, He was right there, enjoying the moment with me... maybe this is what we will feel when we enter eternity with Him... it was just a glimpse, a moment? but it was enough for me...

"that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith: that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height--to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge: that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19

POLE!!

so i recently encountered an interesting life example:
i was riding my bike to work one morning and was stopped at a stop light at a rather large intersection...it was a gorgeous, cool morning absolutely perfect for riding and enjoying the day...a grizzled looking man walked by in the crosswalk and said, "how's the ride??" i smiled and replied, "it's beautiful, just beautiful..." he responded (while staring at me...) "beautiful, just like you..." he managed to step up on the curb as he continued to "eye" me, and then promptly ran right into a pole... hmmmm, ya think he was looking where he was going?? and i wasn't much help either, as he started to run into the pole i shouted (MUCH too late) "POLE!"... this story came to mind the other day as i was reading colossians 3 in the message (i love that translation):

He Is Your Life

^1-2 So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.

i described this to a friend as looking through our Jesus lens... his perspective... not looking around and "eyeing" something that may momentarily interest and distract you... but looking around and being aware of our surroundings, our opportunities and envisioning these through God's eyes, His thoughts of us, His caring for us... hopefully we won't be blindsided and hear a voice just a bit too late saying, "POLE"!...

relationships...hmmm how to decipher??

i was talking with my oldest, jenna boyd today on the phone, she has recently been discouraged regarding a relationship with a boy that had looked rather hopeful...the struggles of finding someone, someone that is the RIGHT someone, the one that God is giving you a very significant "thumbs up" this is the one! someone... so hard... we talked about the games that people play in trying to decipher each others wants and needs... communication gaps in stating those wants and needs... being true to the people that you love and that love you...how do we do it? how do we decipher it all?... practice...building on past experiences and noting what works and what doesn't...

being in a relationship for the past 35 years i think about how things have messed up, meshed and morphed throughout all these decades...i think of all the lessons i have learned and how i pray on a daily basis that i be thoughtful and mindful of the most important person to me on this planet...that i never take him for granted and that i purposefully love him, with the intention to make his life more full and the back-splash of that will be that mine is more full as well...

when i think of a relationship of give and take, fragile strength and a deceptively simple/complex dance of blending two lives, i think of my parents...and this is the "connect the dots" vision of how it's done... simple moments... my parents daily taking time to sit in the afternoon in their bedroom and talk about their day...i remember so vividly looking through their open door when i was little, my dad laying down on the bed and my mom perched on the edge, holding his hand and the two of them talking about their day... every day... and my last memory, painfully and vividly etched on the inside of my mind, the picture of my parents, after almost 60 years of marriage, seeing my mom, perched on the edge of my dad's hospital bed at their apartment, holding his hand and talking to him, two days before he died... i saw them as i was leaving for the night and the glow of the lamp behind them will forever hold that portrait silhouetted moment ... relationships? new, not so new, tried and true, the deciphering comes from the 100 percent effort of each person in the couple to truly know and support the other...no matter what...

senioritis...at 51? really??

okay, so i've been waiting my entire life to actually finish something... i have several closets full of "almost finishes"....from crafts, to books, to projects galore, i get so excited and my creativity rev's up and then kerPLunk! oops, i don't have enough time OR experience to complete this project... it is a wonderful thing to have a wide variety of interests? but when you have educational and craft ADHD it can be a bit overwhelming and expensive... needless to say, i am approaching the finish line of my Bachelor's degree in Psychology on June 1st... and yet? here i sit at 10:10 pm on a monday night, all assignments are due on tuesday nights at 9:00 p.m., and i have barely scratched the surface... i have decided that i am truly afflicted with a certifiable case of senioritis... perhaps it's because it has taken me forEVer to arrive at this near destination point in time? or perhaps i'm just lazy? or perhaps i'm a bit frightened that i am actually going to cross a finish line? this is new territory for me... i feel a bit uncoordinated with this new direction in my life... but i'm sure i'll regain my balance soon, i guess i just had to admit that i'm feeling kind of tentative with this new playing field in my life... who knows? maybe i'll actually be able to make a habit of comPLETING things!! oh well, one finish line at a time...

ah... positivity...

i have always considered myself to be a fairly positive person, yet i definitely have an edge for sarcasm... (yes, my dear daughters i can see you basically mouthing the word "duh" as you read this...)... ;)... but i find that when i am working with the special needs population there are certain things that you take for granted...

1> that the 12 year old autistic boy that i am working with doesn't really care that much about his appearance, or what is said about him...
2> that some things that are fairly obvious to those that do NOT have special needs may need to be explained to those that do...

i have decided that the matter of fact manner and straight to the heart honesty of an autistic/asperberger's individual is actually rather refreshing... i may be a behavioral interventionist but i would hope that i never become so jaded in monitoring behavior that i mistake behavior with part of a child's unique personality...

all of these insightful comments add up to one young lady that i have met in the past couple of months that i think has to be the most delightful, unique and positive person on the planet... if i could have an attitude like her 24/7? i would be heaven-bound... most definitely...

miss stephanie is 12 years old and in our 6th grade main stream, general education classroom.... when i first met her she was sitting atop the monkey-bars at recess, swinging her legs back and forth, she introduced herself and said she was "one of the autistics"... she stated this fact with pride and exuberance and i almost expect her to one day wear a rock star emblazoned t-shirt that emphasizes her autistic pride:)... she continually monitors the other "autistic" boy in her grade, who happens to be my charge, "minh"... he is equally as delightful, but prone to tantrums (that i fear may be more brat based than autistic based...) particularly when he wants his own way... granted his world is colored in a manner i cannot possibly conceive, yet i have the example of miss stephanie who keeps minh in line with phrases like, "off-topic minh", "don't twist the swings minh", "not appropriate minh"... frankly its a wonder she hasn't stolen my job:)...

but the corker to all this is one day last week when we received the pictures that the kids had taken on "re-take" day... everyone dresses up, looks their best, smiles pretty... uhm, no... minh walks in with an argyle vest, an atrocious long-sleeve sweater that clashes beautifully with that argyle vest and hair that hails back to the "flock of seagulls" days in the 80's... oh my... he has a cheezzzze grin and he is squinting at the camera... i look at the picture and laugh, show it to his teacher and a few other adults, we all get a good laugh at minh's "bad hair" day... then i see that miss stephanie has her picture, (it's adorable of course)... i show her minh's picture and she proclaims loudly to the classroom, "MINH, YOU'RE A ROCKSTAR, YOUR PICTURE IS SO COOL!"...

point taken...
and i am greatly humbled...

a list for my list....

a little bit of an epiphany has struck me over the head... i am already aware of my propensity toward procrastination (uhm, really?) but in a vain attempt to conquer this lack of virtue i have decided i need to create a list for my list... most people make a list and then mark their accomplishments with a giant checkmark or at least cross it out with a big deliberate X, but i think that i must do one extra step... write on my list to CREATE a list... i know this is a sad state of affairs, but i have decided this may be my last resort in attempting some type of time-line in my life... an example of one of my lists for a normal day you ask? anxiously awaiting the minutiae that would be my ordinary little life?
1. devotions
2. vitamins
3. shower/personal grooming
4. breakfast
5. laundry, dishes
6. get ready for work
7. go to work
8. etc., etc., etc.,
9. write a list for tomorrow

if i get at least 3 things done on my list? i feel accomplished...

so? if i just write out a list i'm a third of the way there:)
ah, if life were just this easy... yes, mindless meandering...