appreciation:)

there are times when you'd like to slow down your days to the point where you could actually view them instead of watching them WHIZZZZ by... we've been with the girls and jeff for the past several days in virginia and even though i am experiencing those days? i'm looking back on them already and wondering "where did they go?"... all too soon we will be back in california and i will be saying over and over again "thank GOD for technology"... i think i will remember this time most fondly because it was just plain fun... what a joy for timmy and i to get a sneak peek at our daughters daily lives and to know that they actually kind of like having us around:)... life is good... i like the fact that we can all hang out, tease, joke, talk, sleep, eat, play with buster the cutest rug puppy i've EVER seen (yes this is grandma speaking) and also know that all of them are overall content with their lives...they may not be ecstatic over some circumstances? but they are content with what God has given them and i don't think a parent could ask for more than that... so coming from me the lover of all things time travel? i think i would just slow down the time we are here in order to actually SEE it... see the beautiful women that our daughters have become, see how unique and individual they are, see how jeff is making a life for himself and emily and working very hard to carve out a home for the two of them... and knowing that this entire experience is being viewed with my other half, probably the most patient, kind and amazing man on the planet... if i ever have doubts of things to be grateful for? i need to just look around, because i am one blessed woman:)

time marches on... what's that rhythm again?

okay... timmy and i attended a moody blues concert at the oc fair tonight... GREAT people watching... the fair itself is amazing, everyone wandering around trying to figure out what type of deep-fried disgusting they can consume and still live to tell about it... met emily and mikkele and promptly found all SORTS of awkward photo opportunities to supply their equally odd little fetished minds... so fun... timmy and i parted from them to corral with MANY other baby-boomers to enjoy the "knights in white satin" moody blue-sers... oh my goodness... craziness ensued... i think i have become quite jaded in my opinions of those who would be my peers... but i just don't really relate to a group of paunchy, balding, reeeallllllyyy inappropriately dressed human beings, who drunkenly stand during a concert and gyrate to "i'm just a singer in a rock and roll band...", there was literally a couple two rows down and to the left of us, that TRULY needed to get a room, soooooo not pretty.... and yet, strangely, the whole event was rather amusing, and since i was with timmy, TERRIFIC people-watching and very bonding in our superiority;).... it gave us great pleasure to clap along, relive some moments from his prom (yes, the theme was "knights in white satin"... aahhhhhhh) and to give a rousing round of applause when the moody blues announced they had been together for... wait for it... wait for it.... FORTY YEARS.... time marches on... it just seems that many of us are enjoying different rhythms...

late nights?

it's not that late... if you're under 30... but i'm not and i've been staying up 'til 12 or 1 every night for days now... then i have to get up at 6? and usually don't make it until 7... where does the time go at night... i've decided that somehow, (my new mission in life) is to slow down T I M E... it would be soooo nice to feel like it's not just blazing past me... then i wouldn't feel like if i go to bed i'm going to miss something... or rather, it's gonna be the next day and i have to work... (can you tell it's the end of the school year???)... ahhhh, my complacency is showing, it's really not pretty...

D.W.A.L.

weelllll, in the past several months we've been noticing the "God lessons" around us... whether they be in our circumstances or an audible message they are truly everywhere... today's lesson? aHem, let me set the scene...

beautiful day in laguna beach... just had lunch with timmy overlooking the bluffs... watching the pelicans fly by in a semi-V formation;)... surfers, boats, adorable puppies being walked by mutually adorable owners... light breeze, 70 degrees, great conversation... ahhhh, relaxing... 1 hour on the parking meter is almost at it's end, it's time to either, a.) feed the meter b.) give up our sublime parking spot, c.) risk the "vulturish menace" that is the lurking parking official. the choice is made FOR us when the change machine won't cough up the change for a rather limp dollar bill... timmy tries fervently to gain acceptance of said dollar bill, but... no go... timmy comes back to get me at the beautiful bluff bench we had set-up as our picnic base. we need to collect our things very quickly or the meter will count down to zero and the possibility of a parking ticket would definitely dampen the luster of this day... just as we gather our things and are heading out, (very quickly), a young shirtless man on a bicycle stops timmy and says, "hey man, could i ask you a favor?" this is his opening line and we are preoccupied with avoiding a ticket when the meter runs out... timmy gets the guy to come to his "favor" point quickly, "do you need money?" just as timmy reaches into his pocket and produces the limp dollar bill, he is handing it to the shirtless fellow and the fellow says, "yeah, i need a beer..."

what do you do? retract your hand? give him a sermon? run away? no, you hand him the sad little dollar bill and chalk it up to, D.W.A.L. "don't waste a lesson"... we may never KNOW what that lesson is? but timmy's been learning about it, reading about it, praying about it... God told him to be charitable... so, beer or not? he was...

waffle week...

so i've decided that some weeks are just "tweener" weeks... they waffle back and forth between good and realllllllly not so good... but it amazes me how God uses everything to bring us closer to Him... the kids at school have been overall manageable and my "assignment" autistic boy;) has been having some major breakthroughs...focus has been better, listening better, spontaneous language... i don't think there's anything that sounds funnier to MY ears than to hear this special little boy mutter to himself... "oh fiddlesticks..." hmmmm, where'd he get that??
family stuff has been rather intense with nephews and nieces struggling to stay on the right path... prayer is good... but what i look at mostly is the fact that everyone is at least alive, struggles and all, and this gives opportunity for a new day, new page, new lease on life... it's all good...
so my quotable quote for the week...
is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire? corrie ten boom
i'm hoping it's a steering wheel for anyone reading this:)...

change is not just something that jingles in your pocket...

i had no idea when i wrote that silly little phrase that i would be encountering a major change on the work front of my life... what's interesting is that i don't even know yet that there IS going to be a change... i've been working in the same school for the past year and a half with the same autistic child. i have seen aMAZIng changes in him, and have had the joy to be there for some big moments... he is 10 years old, so he is all about change:)... but in the autistic mind, there is such a wide variety of ways to go, little hidden doors that need to be unlocked... i've been able to help open a few of them and now i'm anticipating going to be with another child... a junior high boy that i know nothing about... so that will be a change... but when i listened to the radio this morning? there could not have BEEN more references to how God wants us to be faithful to HIM not to our own comfort... step out... so i'm trying really hard to simply be "available"... to have the right attitude... if you can't change your circumstances? than change your attitude... (yes mom, i did listen growing up....i just mentally tantrumed against this platitude)... so who knows what the next step is going to be... but i know one thing, i'll have either a new appreciation of what i AM doing, or an appreciation for the upcoming change and challenge that God is presenting...

just life in general...

the "sumupance" of my days these days seems to consist mainly of homework (computer stuff), talking with timmy, maybe watching a movie, and possibly getting a nap. these are the days that i live for... a perfect day? starts with time with God, real time, not just a snatch, preferably in my green room that the kids created for me as a "mama" surprise when we were on vacation a couple of summers ago... so pleasant to dream in that room... hmmmm.... anyway, God time... then off and doing something i love to do, the gym? time with family? a great talk with a dear friend? any of this will do... it may sound boring to some? but it's never the same day... (that's obvious i know, i know) but they don't even blur and blend into one, it's just life in general... and it's good...