senioritis...at 51? really??

okay, so i've been waiting my entire life to actually finish something... i have several closets full of "almost finishes"....from crafts, to books, to projects galore, i get so excited and my creativity rev's up and then kerPLunk! oops, i don't have enough time OR experience to complete this project... it is a wonderful thing to have a wide variety of interests? but when you have educational and craft ADHD it can be a bit overwhelming and expensive... needless to say, i am approaching the finish line of my Bachelor's degree in Psychology on June 1st... and yet? here i sit at 10:10 pm on a monday night, all assignments are due on tuesday nights at 9:00 p.m., and i have barely scratched the surface... i have decided that i am truly afflicted with a certifiable case of senioritis... perhaps it's because it has taken me forEVer to arrive at this near destination point in time? or perhaps i'm just lazy? or perhaps i'm a bit frightened that i am actually going to cross a finish line? this is new territory for me... i feel a bit uncoordinated with this new direction in my life... but i'm sure i'll regain my balance soon, i guess i just had to admit that i'm feeling kind of tentative with this new playing field in my life... who knows? maybe i'll actually be able to make a habit of comPLETING things!! oh well, one finish line at a time...

ah... positivity...

i have always considered myself to be a fairly positive person, yet i definitely have an edge for sarcasm... (yes, my dear daughters i can see you basically mouthing the word "duh" as you read this...)... ;)... but i find that when i am working with the special needs population there are certain things that you take for granted...

1> that the 12 year old autistic boy that i am working with doesn't really care that much about his appearance, or what is said about him...
2> that some things that are fairly obvious to those that do NOT have special needs may need to be explained to those that do...

i have decided that the matter of fact manner and straight to the heart honesty of an autistic/asperberger's individual is actually rather refreshing... i may be a behavioral interventionist but i would hope that i never become so jaded in monitoring behavior that i mistake behavior with part of a child's unique personality...

all of these insightful comments add up to one young lady that i have met in the past couple of months that i think has to be the most delightful, unique and positive person on the planet... if i could have an attitude like her 24/7? i would be heaven-bound... most definitely...

miss stephanie is 12 years old and in our 6th grade main stream, general education classroom.... when i first met her she was sitting atop the monkey-bars at recess, swinging her legs back and forth, she introduced herself and said she was "one of the autistics"... she stated this fact with pride and exuberance and i almost expect her to one day wear a rock star emblazoned t-shirt that emphasizes her autistic pride:)... she continually monitors the other "autistic" boy in her grade, who happens to be my charge, "minh"... he is equally as delightful, but prone to tantrums (that i fear may be more brat based than autistic based...) particularly when he wants his own way... granted his world is colored in a manner i cannot possibly conceive, yet i have the example of miss stephanie who keeps minh in line with phrases like, "off-topic minh", "don't twist the swings minh", "not appropriate minh"... frankly its a wonder she hasn't stolen my job:)...

but the corker to all this is one day last week when we received the pictures that the kids had taken on "re-take" day... everyone dresses up, looks their best, smiles pretty... uhm, no... minh walks in with an argyle vest, an atrocious long-sleeve sweater that clashes beautifully with that argyle vest and hair that hails back to the "flock of seagulls" days in the 80's... oh my... he has a cheezzzze grin and he is squinting at the camera... i look at the picture and laugh, show it to his teacher and a few other adults, we all get a good laugh at minh's "bad hair" day... then i see that miss stephanie has her picture, (it's adorable of course)... i show her minh's picture and she proclaims loudly to the classroom, "MINH, YOU'RE A ROCKSTAR, YOUR PICTURE IS SO COOL!"...

point taken...
and i am greatly humbled...

a list for my list....

a little bit of an epiphany has struck me over the head... i am already aware of my propensity toward procrastination (uhm, really?) but in a vain attempt to conquer this lack of virtue i have decided i need to create a list for my list... most people make a list and then mark their accomplishments with a giant checkmark or at least cross it out with a big deliberate X, but i think that i must do one extra step... write on my list to CREATE a list... i know this is a sad state of affairs, but i have decided this may be my last resort in attempting some type of time-line in my life... an example of one of my lists for a normal day you ask? anxiously awaiting the minutiae that would be my ordinary little life?
1. devotions
2. vitamins
3. shower/personal grooming
4. breakfast
5. laundry, dishes
6. get ready for work
7. go to work
8. etc., etc., etc.,
9. write a list for tomorrow

if i get at least 3 things done on my list? i feel accomplished...

so? if i just write out a list i'm a third of the way there:)
ah, if life were just this easy... yes, mindless meandering...